I have inherited panic disorder, and my particular kind is a fear of wide open spaces...mountain tops, bridges, plane travel, etc. I take no meds, and just make a practice of witnessing my thoughts and feelings as they wash through me. This song was written in the midst of an attack. I describe my interior landscape of what it feels like as I cross the panic chasm from fear to bliss.
Lyrics
DEEP BLUE SEA by Jim Ocean
There’s a fire burning inside of me
That’s how it begins
There’s a river running next to the fire
That I like to go swimming in
And it scares me when I’m out in the water
But I always get to the island
Then I sit in the sun and I think about life
I feel the love I feel so alive
And the water
That surrounds me
Yes the water
Is a deep blue
It’s a very deep blue
Sea
There’s a feeling growing out of me
With its roots in the ground
There’s a mountain living under the tree
Think I’ll hike around it
But it scares me when I’m up at the top
So I only stay for awhile
And I look at the sky and I think about space
And I wonder what the hell I should do in this place
And the heavens
All around me
Yes the heavens
Are a deep blue
It’s a very deep blue
Sea
There’s a beach stretching out in me
Where I can dig my toes in the sand
There’s an ocean living under the beach
That I’m trying to understand
And it scares me when I don’t have an answer
But I keep on living anyway
Then I look at my life on the horizon
And I wonder what the hell I should do until then
And a lifetime
That surrounds me
Yes a lifetime
Is a deep blue
And the water
All around me
Yes the water
Is a deep blue
Yes it’s a deep blue
It’s a very deep blue sea